Male bodied people:
-Stronger orgasms -Potential to become FULLY multiply orgasmic -Easier, faster, and harder erections -Greater orgasm control, both for delaying or triggering orgasm -Greater ejaculate volume -Increased sexual health -Ability to flex and stimulate your partner. (More for a smile and a “Wow” than for intense physical pleasure.) -Help to maintain erectile function as you age -Increased prostate health, decreased chance of prostate cancer -Increased libido (my theory, not proven) -Massively increased confidence because of all of the above
Female bodied people:
-Increased orgasm strength -Increased orgasm control, ability to orgasm more easily -Increased potential to become multiply orgasmic -Increased potential to learn how to orgasm via different stimulation types (clitoral, g-spot, a spot). -Increased potential to learn how to ejaculate, and/or have ejaculatory orgasms (ejaculation and orgasm are separate events) -Increased vaginal tightness and ability to physically manipulate your partner using your vaginal muscles. (Massive “Wow” factor. Some women can produce orgasm in their male-bodied partners using this alone, with no thrusting.) -Increased libido (my theory, not proven) -Increased sexual health and confidence because of all of the above
The pelvic floor muscles, abdominals, and anus all contract during orgasm in both male and female bodied people. This large set of muscle groups also plays a role in male erectile function (it may also play a role in female erectile function, I don’t know). The whole group is incredibly complex, and is all up in your naughty bits. These are just the benefits and roles we know about. I’m sure their are lots we don’t know about.
Kegels are a conscious contraction, release, and relaxation of the pelvic floor muscles and anus, and can incorporate the abdominals.
Kegels and your Butt:
Kegels do not require anal play, or penetration. The fact that the anus contracts during orgasm has nothing to do with a person’s desire to engage in, or not engage in, anal play. It is simply a biological fact. In order to perform Kegels properly, you will need to learn about how your body works, and this will require touching your anus briefly. If you have an aversion to this, I would encourage you to overcome it for the sake of your sexual health. You will only need to touch your anus once, during your first session. If you can not overcome this, you can still follow along and put your hand as close as you are comfortable to your anus without touching it, or nowhere near it at all if you prefer.
Establishing the Mind-Body Connection with the Muscle Group:
Right now, as you read this, contract the muscles that you would to stop the flow of urine, or to hold urine in when you need to go. If you are unable to do this, don’t worry. Your body just hasn’t established the mental connection with those muscles as strongly. In this case, wait until you are urinating. Once you have started, stop the flow of urine. You may not be able to fully stop the flow at first. Repeat the squeeze and release of those muscles a few times. This should be sufficient to have trained your brain what muscle groups to flex. After you are finished and dressed, flex the same muscles. If you can do so, excellent. If you require more practice, just do so again each time you urinate until you are able to easily mentally control that muscle group.
Feeling what the Muscles Do, Strengthening the Mind-Body Connection:
Once you can do this, get naked (yay!) and lie in your bed. Reach under your leg with one hand, and place a few fingers across your anus. Place the fingers of your other hand across your perineum, or between your penis/vagina and anus. Now squeeze those muscles. You will feel your anus tighten and draw inwards. Male bodied people will feel the base of your penis firm up and push out and/or forward a bit. Female bodied people should feel a squeeze inside your vagina. If you do not feel these things, do not worry. At first your muscles may be weak, and the weaker the muscles, the less movement they produce. Contract and release the muscles a few times, and feel what they do to your body.
Now, contract the muscles and hold for 5 seconds (hands still in place). Then release for 5 seconds. Now push, in the opposite direction as when you squeezed. You should feel your perineum and anus push outwards / bulge. More so the perineum. Push, and hold the push for 5 seconds. Notice that while this push is similar it is distinctly different from pushing during a bowel movement. If it feels absolutely identical try to stay focused on the muscle group you were squeezing, and use your hands, touching your perineum, to strengthen the mind-body connection, and focus the push.
Once you are able to do both the squeeze and push, do enough squeeze, relax, push, relax, cycles that you feel you have good mental control of the muscle group, and can do them without your hands there to help focus. If you find you have lost some of that focus when you try your first ‘hands free’ session, just do some more ‘hands on’ work each time you are in bed until your control is good enough to be fully comfortable.
The push is extremely important, it is the reciprocal of the squeeze. It is fully relaxing and extending those muscles, moving them through their full range of motion (and over time, extending that range of motion). If you are only squeezing, you are progressively and repetitively flexing the muscle, without relaxing it. It would be similar to doing an arm curl with a weight, but only ever moving from fully contracted to 3 – 4″ away from your shoulder. There is very little benefit to doing ‘half Kegels’.
By exercising the full range of motion, you truly strengthen the muscle, and over time, extend it’s range of motion. Also, for male-bodied people, you will use a combination of squeeze and push to delay orgasm during vigorous sexual activity.
Kegels: The Exercise Routine
So now you know how to perform Kegels, and you have good mental control of the muscles. Now it’s just a matter of strengthening them.
The cycle is squeeze, relax, push, relax. The goal is to squeeze harder, and longer. Start wherever you are comfortable, perhaps 2 seconds each, for 30 cycles. The stronger you are naturally, the longer you will be able to hold initially. But no matter how weak those muscles are, they will strengthen over time, so do not be disheartened if you can only squeeze or push for a second at first. Alternate your workouts:
Long Holds: Work up to holding each stage for 30 seconds, for as many cycles as you feel like. Should aim for working up to 30 minute sessions. These are the principle strength building exercises, and are also good for developing orgasm delay control in male-bodied people.
Short Pulses: Squeeze for 3 seconds, and go directly into a push for 2 seconds. Try for as many cycles as you can. As you get better, shorten the time to 1 second per cycle. These are amazing for directly strengthening orgasm intensity. They more closely mimic the rapid, rhythmic contraction of orgasm. They are not as good for increasing strength as the long hold type.