Do you always have to talk things out with your partner?“ A friend asked me this, as she spoke about how her boyfriend is never keen on talking things out after an argument.More importantly, she was beginning to wonder if having a discussion with him would make matters better or worse.
Verbal communication is a small part of the whole communication process; expressing what is on our minds from time to time keeps misunderstandings at bay.But, as is the phrase “too much of a good thing…“, sometimes too much chatting can become a distraction from addressing pertinent issues, and finding a solution.
Psychologists point out that the most important communication -that makes or breaks relationships -is through body language or other non-verbal cues, like a tone of voice, facial expressions, gestures etc. Sometimes, you need to lay off the talking and let silence speak for you.
Coming back to my friend’s quandary, no… one must not always talk things out without gauging the importance of what you are about to discuss.
In short, not talking is also a kind of communication, and at times, the need of the hour. It is also important to remember that talking means nothing if it is not backed by action. You can tell your partner all you want about how sorry you are but unless you do something to show it -for example, don’t repeat your mistakes, or not hold a grudge a-your words mean nothing.
In the aftermath of a disagreement, most of the communication happens in one’s actions, and while it may be a lengthy process, it is wholesome and authentic.Remember that when you know in your gut something is going wrong.