Relating to the world is not an option, nor is it a matter for concern. What counts is how we manage and respond to different situations. We cannot free ourselves from all relationships. But it is a different matter if we free ourselves from a constantly irritating relationship that has proven to be unfeasible to continue.
Generally , we want to free ourselves from a relationship because of our emotional incapacity to deal with it, which may be indicative of a problem.We need to learn how to manage our expectations of others. Also we must know that if others have a problem, it is their problem. Let them manage it. If you can help them manage, please help them. Otherwise, forget about it. In relating to another, we need to be free.Further, freedom is only when there is freedom from agenda. Avoid friction in relating to another.The word `agenda’ is a positive word, not a negative word. When we are called for a meeting, we have agenda “These are the items we are going to discuss.“
With reference to individuals, we have certain expectations. There is nothing wrong in that, but these expectations are not merely expectations; they are definite i have concluded that this person must be like this.And “this person must be like this“ is what i call agendum. It is not proper or correct to make a conclusion like that about somebody . There is no person at all that fits into a category.
Even to categorise a person as a criminal is improper. We can only say, “He is a habitual offender.“
There is a person who is constantly committing crimes; therefore, we declare to the world that he is a criminal. When we say, “He is a habitual offender,“ that means that he is given to the habit of committing offenses. We don’t know why; then we can find out what the causes are. But we cannot say he is a criminal. Grant freedom to the other person to think the way he thinks.
All individuals are free to have their perceptions and opinions. They are free to think differently and do differently . One should be ready for that. In relationships and in marriage, it is so important to understand this. In an Indian marriage, there is a sentence that states: “I give you my heart.“ Both say this at the same time. Then the next sentence states: “Let your mind be in keeping with my mind.“ Here it means granting freedom to the other person to think the way that person thinks. That is the proper translation. May you approve of my way of thinking as long as it is proper (dharmic), of course. It is not merely thinking; doing is also involved. So may you approve of my way of thinking and acting. That is a prayer for both parties.May each of them approve of the other’s thinking and doing and help and validate each other. Thereby , both of them will grow. That is how there is freedom in a relationship.
Let the other person think the way he thinks. Even if he is wrong, it is better that he discovers what is right.That validation is important, and it is mutual. Anything one-sided is not going to work in a relationship. If you commit a mistake that is good, because learning from you i won’t commit the same one.Therefore, in relating to another, granting freedom to the other person seems to be the most crucial thing.