Sexual performance anxiety is a critical issue which puts you into a mental frenzy. When your mind is distracted during sex, it confuses your brain. And when your brain is confused, it leads to a backlash of sexual dysfunctions including premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction and being unable to achieve orgasm.
1. First clear on what your partner wants
To improve your sexual performance you need to pay close attention to your partner’s needs. Fulfilling sex requires mutual emotional as well as sexual satisfaction. This won’t happen if you’re constantly worrying about your own performance.
Your conscious mind can only focus on one thing at a time. So if you’re worrying about your sexual performance then you’re not giving your partner the attention (she) needs and deserves. You may also be putting her off with your current sexual technique – which can destroy her sexual desire for you.
Due to a porn education many men unwittingly think that their partner requires hard and fast thrusting for sex to be fulfilling. But is that true? Is that what your partner wants, or do you just assume that fact?
2. Find how to last longer and how to ejaculate on demand
This may seem obvious, but here’s why you need to last longer to improve sexual performance. While a man is limited to one ejaculation, a woman can have multiple orgasms. These are often randomly achieved during foreplay as well as intercourse.
While it’s nice for her to orgasm during foreplay, the most fulfilling orgasms for women usually occur during intercourse. Don’t make the mistake of assuming that because you are fulfilling her with foreplay, lasting longer during intercourse won’t matter as much. Engaging intercourse really does matter, if you want to be able to consistently satisfy her in bed.
When a woman has had enough foreplay she immediately wants you to switch to intercourse. Then, when she’s had enough intercourse she wants you to ejaculate.
It’s frustrating for her if she’s ready for penetration and you forgot to pay attention to yourself and therefore aren’t hard! It’s also frustrating when she’s ready for you to fulfil her with intercourse and you ejaculate soon after because you were too focused on yourself.
Now don’t assume that your partner wants you to last for hours. When she’s ready for you to ejaculate, she wants you to do it now! This may be after 10 minutes or it may be half an hour, or longer. This varies from partner to partner, so uncover her unique requirement.
It’s important to pay attention during sex and adjust your sexual focus as required so you can get hard, last longer then ejaculate on demand.
3. Great sex is quality sex
If you’re worrying about your sexual performance (she’s) going to sense your anxiety and sex won’t be as much fun for either of you. For your partner to feel emotionally fulfilled during sex she needs to know that you’re enjoying yourself. To achieve this, you need an overall strategy for sex, from start to finish.
Sexual performance anxiety occurs because you don’t have a plan. Maybe you don’t know how to get hard or stay hard. Or maybe ejaculation is uncontrolled and happens when you don’t want it to – or it doesn’t happen at all.
Conversely, you may not be sure of what your partner likes, or if your sexual technique is fulfilling (her).
Great sex requires knowing what your partner wants and likes and providing that. It’s lasting long enough to fulfill (her) needs as well as your own. Paying attention to how she’s responding to your actions without overdoing it and over stimulating your brain sexually. Adjusting your actions to enhance her experience without forgetting your own.
Sex is about both partners, not just about one.
A woman who doesn’t know how to focus her attention correctly during sex can accidentally switch off her libido in a second. Or she may have problems achieving orgasm which makes sex feel like hard work.
A woman who has lost interest and desire for sex will contribute to her male’s sexual dysfunctions and compound his sexual performance anxiety.
When both have sexual challenges, all desire for sex may be lost. This will then detrimentally affect the very fabric which holds the relationship together.
To enhance your sexual performance you need to focus more on your partner’s requirement from you. But in doing this (for a male) you must balance your sexual focus so you don’t cause sexual imbalances such as PE or ED.