Sunday, July 25, 2021
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12 Things Every Woman Needs to Do to

1. Eat what you normally eat because you’re a living human with caloric needs.

You are everything you need to be right now. You don’t need to be less or more of it to look good in a bikini. So if you already eat pretty healthy and sometimes want to eat pizza, eat pizza. And if you do want to make changes, do it because you genuinely want to, not because you feel like if you don’t, then you don’t belong in a bikini, because that is false.

2. Pick out a bikini that makes you feel cute as hell.

bikiniIt doesn’t have to be a string with a small square of fabric that goes over your vag either. There are some really cute vintage ones here that I’m obsessed with, if that’s your thing, but either way, shop around and find one that makes you feel excited instead of terrified.

3. Stop comparing your bikini body to someone else’s.

Magazines and TV and movies have given us all this idea that we have to look like supermodels if we want to wear bikinis and that is such bullshit that I can’t even stand it. So let me just tell you right now. None of your friends expect you to look like Gisele in a bikini. They expect you to look like you in a bikini because they love you and this beach trip took weeks to plan. Which brings me to…

4. Forget that models and celebrities in bikinis even exist because they have trainers and nutritionists and armies of people to tone them.

I know a lot of it is good genes, but I still believe that if it were my job to have a slim yet perfectly toned body all the time and I had trainers working me out for hours a day and feeding me astronaut space meals while I tried not to breathe in too much air because it might cause bloating, I’d have that body for sure. But also that life sounds miserable and I do not have that kind of time.

Having a piece of chocolate here and there isn’t going to suddenly make you gain 45 pounds. And also, have you had chocolate? It’s delicious.

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